Friday, May 10, 2013

The Second N.

Did you know that I have a fail safe method for knowing how much a person really cares?

It's true.

Yes, I consider myself a fairly intuitive person, and I think that I'm better at reading a person and sensing underlying feelings and intentions than the next person. But that doesn't mean I don't get it wrong, sometimes. My method of knowing who my real friends are, or knowing who actually cares to be (rather than just tolerating me) is actually quite simple.

When I tell you my secret, it might give some of you a complex. You might wonder if you've "violated" this little tell tale of mine, and I'm not trying to make people paranoid, here. So I'll tell you that - mistakes can happen. Even my own parents have done it! So when I say this, know that I'm talking about the majority of the time.

Confused yet? Alright, here it is.

The way I can tell if someone really knows me, or if they care to know me, is by how they spell my name. Not Jennifer, because people don't really get that wrong. No one calls me Jennifer, anyway. Everyone calls me Jenn. And if they spell it correctly, like that...whether on Facebook, in an email, on a card, in a letter, on a gift - I know they're the real deal. It's all in the second N.

There's some debate over the preference and accuracy of Jenn vs Jen, but us Jennifers usually have a preference. And since I was little, Jenn with 2 N's has always been mine. When I was younger, I used to rant and rave about it. My motto used to be "take off the ifer, not the nifer!"...which earned me a lot of nick names at the time. The Niffer, being the most common. I've become less of a stickler about it as I've gotten older - simply because I'm no longer a teenager that doesn't care about hurting people's feelings. But my twitchy irritation over being called "Jen" still stands.

I put some effort into letting people know, too. I don't expect people to guess correctly all the time. My personal email starts with Jenn. I have it on my signature on all the forums I'm a member of. I have it on my Twitter account. I would have it on Facebook, too...but my husband's cousin has the same name as me, and our friend requests are already difficult enough! I use at as my author name on my blog, and when I leave someone a comment, I always make "Jenn" obvious. When I mail someone a card or letter, I sign my name that way and use it on the return address. Maybe these are subtle, and I realize that not everyone is as obsessive and concerned with being right when it comes to words and names. I pay attention to these specific things so that I don't risk spelling someone's name wrong. And when I'm in doubt, I ask. I guess I always assume that others will do the same, but they don't. Unless they really care. So when I see it, I think...."Wow, thank you for noticing!"

There is, of course, one exception to the rule. And I know that this kind of makes my choice of the words "fail safe" null, but..."almost a fail safe" doesn't sound as interesting, does it? The exception to the rule are the people that I meet in person, and have never conversed with through snail mail, internet, or text. So the first time they approach spelling my name - it's a crap chute. They have to guess whether I'm the type of Jennifer that prefers 1 N or 2. And usually in those cases, I find a way to sneak in a "Jenn" in response, and it's after this point that I can tell if someone cares or not. I also find that fellow Jennifers are more likely to call me Jenn, whether they really care about me or not. And sometimes, someone may hate my guts, but they are equally crazy about names and words and at least have the decency to notice how I spell it, and that I plaster it everywhere.

Okay, so it's not a perfect system. I lied. But I'll tell you, it does get my attention!

When I approach a fellow Jennifer, I always go with Jenn. I know it's personal preference, but I just think it looks better. And I also find that Jen's don't mind being called Jenn, but us Jenn's are more twitchy about being called Jen.

Or maybe it's just me, and I'm the only crazy person, but that's okay.

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1 comment:

  1. This is such a little detail! I will try and remember to spell your name right! I know that I get confused with peoples name spelling because I think so hard about it that I trick myself and pick the wrong one.

    Amanda Rose