On my path to self-discovery and inspiring more happiness in my everyday life, I found the Happier podcast by Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft. It was a total game changer. (Evidenced by how often you'd find Gretchen's name here on this blog. Homegirl speaks to my heart.)
The topics she and her sister would chat about on Happier kept looping around to her newest self-help book, Better Than Before (affiliate). Despite hearing basically everything via podcast, I had to get my hands on a copy to drink in the words myself. (Which is funny writing that now, because it's such a Questioner thing to do - now that I know what Questioner is!)
The first notable thing about this book was the time it took me to finish it.
I'm a pretty fast reader - usually finishing a book in a few days, or maybe a week if life is hectic. It took me two months to read this. Please don't assume that this is because the book is dry or boring: it is anything but! I read this book faithfully, every day, and loved every single second of it.
The reason it took me so long, is because it brought endless ideas and thoughts to my mind, and many times I had to set it down and document what I was feeling. Gretchen's words kept sparking immediate action, while plans for the pieces of my life that I knew needed my attention were bubbling to the surface.
And as a Questioner? Having the words for my everyday tendencies and personality traits was such a comfort. I can't tell you how many times I shouted, "YES!"
Before I explain what it means to be a Questioner - take a minute to complete THIS QUIZ.
It will show you which of the four habit tendencies you fall within, and this simple fact will give you so much clarity. I've even asked some of my friends and family to take the quiz for me so that I can better approach them with whatever needs crop up in our relationships. It's a priceless (free) resource!
I'll wait here. When you come back, though, can you pop it in the comments to let me know which tendency you are? I'm a Questioner, so I'm dying to know! ;)
Being a Questioner means that I tend to analyze every decision, scenario, or habit to determine its worth and efficiency before I approach or commit to it. And if you recall from my title, I told you that I'm a Rebel Questioner. This means that it takes quite a lot to convince me, and once my questioning is finished, I usually decide something isn't worth it.
I at first thought this meant I was a pessimist, but I've since discovered that it's more because I value myself and my time, and I'm cautious of being taken advantage of.
It also means that I am highly motivated by my emotions, or the feel of a habit or situation, and this makes total sense to me as a creative.
For me, the feel of the thing determines its worth.
That's what being a Rebel Questioner means to me. And since discovering these things about myself, I've learned how to deal with each side of my personality, and I'm even able give hints to the people in my life about how to best approach me.
Here's a quick example I gave my husband.
If he, or anyone were to say, "We really need to clean the living room."
I will disagree with him 100% of the time, because I can logic that away and feel no guilt about not taking on a task that I didn't deem necessary. Saying the word "NEED" to me will never yield results.
If he says, "Hey, do you feel like cleaning up the living room with me? It'll feel so great in here after, and then maybe we can relax together."
Yep. I'm all in. 1,000%, I'm there, all day.
Same goal, same effort, totally different approach to appeal to the Rebel (who doesn't want to be told what to do) and the Questioner (who can totally see your logic about the results of our efforts.)
See what a game changer this self-knowledge can be?
I am close to people in all of these categories, and I can see the value in there being people of all four types. It reminds me of my son's first grade teacher from last year and something she always used to say: "It takes all types to make this world work."
I would love for you to gain this clarity about yourself, and see how much easier it makes your everyday life once you know how to relate to yourself and your loved ones! Start simply by taking the quiz, and then grab a copy of Better Than Before to experience the awesome motivation for yourself!
PS - I first read this book from the library and realized that I needed a reference on hand to take notes in so I bought a copy! I think you'll feel the same. ;)