Sunday, April 22, 2012

the five stages of motherhood illness.

1. Denial - Day 1
I am not getting sick, I am not getting sick, I AM NOT GETTING SICK! I just have a sore throat from sleeping with my mouth open last night. Maybe a spider crawled in and tapped danced on my tonsils. Yeah, that's it. Besides, I can totally fight this off. It's nothing. I'm totally fine. We're all fine.

2. Anger - Day 2
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! Another cold? Screw you, Universe! Don't you know how unfair it is to give a mom that can't drug-up a cold? Who's the jerk that didn't keep their germs to themselves? Who got us sick? I'll kill 'em! Right after I lecture them about common courtesy and bringing your colds around others! Ahhhhhh!

3. Bargaining - Day 3
Please, please, please let this be over with soon. Just let me breathe through my nose so I can try and sleep this off. Let my sinuses miraculously recover. I will totally deal with a cough for a month if you just let my congestion go away. Please body, get rid of this thing.

4. Depression - Day 7
It just figures. Yet another never-ending cold. This always happens to me. I'm not getting out of my PJs OR brushing my hair today. If you need me, I'll be in my bed watching chick flicks and eating cookies while the kids gnaw on power cords. Hand me that box of tissues, please. I'm going to blow the last of my happiness out of my nose.

5. Acceptance - Day 25
Well, I guess that's it. The kids and I are just destined to have snot rattling around in our heads and crust on our noses until July. Whatever. I better go buy stock in Kleenex.

1 comment:

  1. I love this! It's so true too. I don't remember getting so many colds until my oldest stared school. Love #7!
    www.DailyMesses.com

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